Original version printed in Latina Magazine’s December 2013 / January 2014 Issue

By: Tiffany Lauren

VIRGIN (N): A PERSON WHO HAS NEVER HAD SEXUAL INTERCOURSE.

When I was 9, my traditional Puerto Rican

mother and Mexican American father instilled

in me the Catholic rule that premarital sex

equals major life sin. Should I give in to

temptation, then I'd better be ready for the

baby that would assuredly show up in my

uterus, they said.

These warnings didn't exactly leave much

opportunity for the usual, formative

experiences in dating—unless you count my

fantasy relationship with Joaquin Phoenix.

SEX (N): THE INSTINCT OR ATTRACTION DRAWING ONE SEX TO ANOTHER.

During college, while most of my peers were

at the height of sexual exploration, I found

myself at the height of an eating disorder

brought on by my strict upbringing. The last

thing I wanted to do at the time was throw sex

into the mix.

Through therapy and soul-searching, I

healthfully moved on and have even come

face-to-face with two penises since! Yet the

male organ still intimidates me. Its lack of

aesthetic appeal combined with my lack of

skill always leads to performance anxiety.

During one encounter, I was so frustrated that

I suddenly gave up and let the penis go. It fell

out of my hand and flopped to the wayside, all

sad looking. Talk about dropping the ball!

REJECT (N): A PERSON OR THING DISCARDED AS USELESS.

I have been rejected multiple times because

of my virginity. Once the word "virgin" hits the

ears, it seems to have the same effect as

"syphilis"! From, “I can't risk you getting

attached" to "wow" followed by a bolting

sprint, the result is always the same. It's hard

not to give in to the demoralization that comes

with being rejected for a quality most people

assume to be desirable. Not that I regret

having been alone for so long-it's made me an

independent person. I am just ready for more.

LOVE (N): A TENDER PASSIONATE AFFECTION FOR ANOTHER PERSON.

I have always been enchanted by the love

story of Gloria and Emilio Estefan. The fact

that he was her only true love, that in her he

saw something special worth taking a risk on,

that together they create beauty in the world.

They are the perfect match.

I do wonder if in putting off sex, I somehow

missed my opportunity for that one true

connection. And will I ever meet that person

willing to take a chance on me? That part of

my story is TBD. I believe that all of this

waiting has happened for a reason, and one

day I look forward to meeting him.

LATINA.COM DECEMBER 2013/JANUARY 2014